See my pain

They say it's all a joke,
the hate, the taunts, the bruises.
That I know it's all just a joke,
        that we're 'friends'.
But if only I could show them,
        how it really affects me.

I hide the scars out of shame,
        layer on the make up to hide the tear stains.
I wish they could see my pain,
        how broken my heart and soul is.
The bruises are difficult to explain,
        excuses, excuses... their starting to loose their touch.

The scars are hidden,
        bikini's are just out of the question.
The blood calms my soul,
        seems to hypnotize my heart for a while.
This is my drug,
        I need it like you need air.

But now it's all over,
        the pain, everything... now all I have is a black abyss.